cookie dough reese’s cup brownie dessert bar type things

step one! (we can have lots of fun)

those pre-made cookie dough squares (enough to cover the bottom. each of my thingies took 2.5)

smash em down real good.

step two! (there’s so much we can do!)

one Reese’s Cup per dessert thing.

make a big ole mess

and if there’s one..lonely…Reese’s Cup that shan’t be used…

go’head on and eat it.

step three! (it’s just you and me) mix up a box of brownie mix, according to the box directions..

step four! (I can give you more…)

(…diabeetus)

spoon the batter all on top of the cookie/reese’s cup thing…

bake that whole junk in the oven at 350 for like 25 minutes

step 5!

(don’t you know that the time has arrriiiiived?!)

to pull it out

and they look like that ^^^

….when I let them cool and tried to remove one from the pan whence I baked them…

this is what happened:

(and did I care?!?? nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot even a little bit)

..perhaps if I let them cool MORE, they will be more…whole and bar-shaped?

even so. eat these with some yummy vanilla ice cream

and then go buy a treadmill.

’cause DAMN.

bacon jam, thank you ma’am

SO!

to make this here bacon jam for yourself and those whom you love and whose arteries you care nothing about:

step one: cook up 1 buttload of bacon

(1 buttload = four lbs)

step two: ignore your dirty oven.

step 3: chop up a buttload of onions:

(buttload = four onions)

THEN! since your bacon is all done cooking and cooling, pour in about 4 tablespoons of the bacon grease (into a big ole pot)

with the onions ^ aforementioned

and about 8-10 chopped up garlic cloves

so, grease. onions. garlic. just those things.

let that cook until the onions are “transluuuuuucent”

once they arrrrrrrrrrrrrre (to be read in a pirate accent), dump in ONE whole cup of apple cider vinegar

and TWO whole cups of brewed, black coffee. stronnng.

also about 1 cup of brown sugar and like 3/4 cup of maple syrup.

bring it to a boil.

continue to ignore your messy kitchen.

THEN!

dump in alllll four pounds of bacon, which you’ve let mostly cool, I guess

and have broken up into like 1 inch pieces, if you were using your time wisely.

step Next: let that simmer for like 3 hours.

I went to Wal-Mart and Dunkin Donuts (happy National DONUT DAY! free donut! when I purchased my iced latte! sugar and caffeine yay!) and I came back.

I had a Number 9

or two

and I watched a Doctor Who episode.

or two.

and when most of the liquid had simmered out, I pulsatingly food-processed it til it was jammy

and sort of lumpy and awesome (like your mom) HA!

I continued to ignore my dirty stove (HEY! you’re gonna clean it after. keep ignoring it for right now.)

and after I pulsed and food-processed the whole batch, I “poured” it into jars, and then boiled those jars in a 10 minute water bath to seal them

Step 11: photograph your bacon jam with a tiny piggy

then photograph it with a label:

(but you must take it outside first. take it for a walk.)

Step The Last: eat a bacon jam sammitch. on toast.

eat it too fast to take its picture.

then watch more Who, drink more Nine.

the end

janet takes a stab at food blogging!

so, to make this recipe for Super Sassy Strawberry Mint Peppercorn Jam, first start with

1 buttload of strawberries

slice ’em and put ’em in

1 giant pot

then add:

1 buttload of sugar

start that big ole mother boiling and you’re gonna let it do that for like 2+ hours

now. all the recipes I’ve found say add the mint at the very END of the process.

but all the reviews I’ve read say “ohhh I can’t really taste the mint, it’s just all strawberry-y and not minty enough”

so I decided. Ima add the mint at the BEGINNING.

they also all say to chop up the mint by hand, slice it, whatever…but I don’t want the size mint slices I’M capable of slicing all up in my jam, so I food-processed it till they were tiny little bits

[this mint is fresh from our garden, by the way]

so I added all that. probably like 15-20 leaves, all different sizes.

and let it simmer for a little over two hours, stirring every ten minutes or so

while I drank

1 Baby Tree

out of my wicked great Athena mug

and watched some Kevin Smith q&a

chillin’ on the couch with my best friend ’cause we were home alone

…finished my Baby Tree

lost all interest in taking pictures of the jam, cause hey, Baby Tree is ABV: 9.0%. and LARGE.

but still added the Peppercorn last for the final 15 minutes or so

the recipe calls for anywhere from 10-15 whole, fresh ground peppercorns

and I don’t know how in the crap to measure how many peppercorns are being ground up in my pepper mill

so I just twisted it 150 times. assuming maybe 10 twists = a whole peppercorn

but who knows

also I didn’t take any pictures of the pepper, but …who doesn’t know what a peppercorn looks like.

and it didn’t need any pectin at all, that was wicked cool. I did add a splash of lemon juice while it was boiling, though. at some point.

….

and when it was done, poured it in jars and then sealed it, boiled the heck out of the jars to ..seal them

and pasteurize them or what-have-you

and voilà!

it’s super delicious, we tried it all by itself last night and were blown away – VERY minty, VERY strawberry sticky sweet

not so much peppery.

Will added some salt to his, which I thought was gross but he liked

and this morning he tried it on a PB&J which he thought was gross and I refused to try

I’m thinking, all alone on biscuits or scones

or on a sandwich with goat cheese and turkey

or on waffles or pancakes or crepes

mmmm.

so there you have it, my completely useless directions for how to make jam!

jam

I made vanilla pear jam yesterday!

http://www.foodinjars.com/2011/02/pear-vanilla-jam/ – I used this recipe

but I added a sprinkle of brown sugar, in the with the four cups of white sugar

also, I peeled the pears (bosc pears), even though the instructions said I didn’t have to

I didn’t want pear peel in mah jam.

I made six jars

omg so good

lookit all the little vanilla bean thingies up in there!

[click the pictures to see larger versions]

I wanna make jam every day now.

so easy. the peeling/chopping of the pears took the longest, I guess

…other than the standing around and waiting for things to boil.

Jam!

a bit of knot tying

http://williamjanet.ourwedding.com/

birthday boy

happy birthday dear Willllliiiiaaammmmmmmm!

happy birthday to you 🙂

I’m so glad you were born! and so glad I met you ❤

hope year #35 is stellar superb wonderful amazing spectacular shiny glimmeringly awesome!

 

I’m sticking with you. ‘Cause I’m made out of glue.

I’m also made out of glee – happy Valentine’s Day to my sweetheart.

I never liked the word ‘sweetheart’ and I never had one before. I used to think mush was dumb dumb dumb.

I was wrong.

Mush makes up the vast majority of our hours together, and he’s my Valentine, my sweetheart – all year long. There’s invisible mistletoe hung everywhere in the house all year long, too. Every day’s Christmas and Valentine’s and most nights are Fourth of July fireworks, wink wink.

I have a red-headed, freckle-faced bright bright comet of a boy for a Valentine too (who woke us up with handmade cards this morning) and a super gorgeous fluffy shiny black wagging Valentine, who’s ALLLllllllways ready for belly rubs and kisses.

I’m a lucky lucky girl – some people don’t even have 1 Valentine, and here I am with three.

happy cards- and- chocolate- and balloons- and teddy bears- and long, long kisses- Day to all of youse out there. We’re enjoying our first (and last) Valentine’s Day as fiancee’s – here’s to love!!

just another day in paradise

my love is a pine tree ’cause that’s the only tree that’s true

…so we’ve begun making HANGERS for our mason jar solar lanterns!

ultra cool for weddings and other events, draped in trees and in tents

and everywhere you want sun-powered, eco-friendly, upcycled lighting/decorations!

taking it all down

=( so long, Christmas!

see ya next year!